Dear Friends of German Comedy,
I am sure you’ve all been waiting for a comprehensive yet concise analysis of the goings-on in North Africa and the Middle East and its ramifications for Stan Boardman’s chip shop.
It’s simple. First we were actively supporting or at least tolerating Gaddafi, Mubarak and the other autocrats as they guaranteed stability for Stan’s chippie and the rest of Central Europe. Now locals forced us into considering them well bad people that need deposing of and as a result public opinion in the West has swayed towards opposition groups such as the Muslim brotherhood.
It’s just like back in Rambo III when John Rambo fought alongside the Mujahideen against the Soviets. And that worked a treat! So, nothing to worry about!
If you think this is simplified…..not compared to an email I got the other day where I was asked to perform as part of a charity night at the Bloomsbury Theatre. The below excerpt might read like a hoax email from the Viz Comic’s Student Grant but it is for real.
> > Benefit will be for Thailand, Iran, Haiti, Bangladesh groups and now also
> > looking for the right group to support in North Africa given whats
> > happening there
Great to see the British colonial spirit still going strong amongst today’s crop of do-gooders. Who cares what sort of groups? As long as it’s sufficiently exotic it’s considered a worthy cause.
With this in mind I should have set up a charity to take me out to the colonies, to be more specific, the Melbourne Festival this March/April. As it stands I have to tuck into my own funds. Rubbish planning!
But far worse planning was not to have gone on a stratospheric rise a la Kevin Bridges or John Bishop since last year’s Edinburgh festival and increased my audience tenfold in the space of no time at all.
That way I wouldn’t have to go through the pain of writing a new hour for this year’s festival.
I could simply perform last year’s show again as basic maths mean it would be new to 90% of the punters. On top of that no-one could challenge me along the lines of “I liked your old stuff” as I could point out that this in fact IS my old stuff.
Anyway, the first London previews of the new show are coming up in May at The Betsey Trotwood in Farringdon. The show is tentatively called ‘No Surrender‘ but I wonder if ‘Scheissenromp‘ wouldn’t be a much better title. Feedback gratefully received.
That’s all I have time for unfortunately….me chips are getting cold.
Have a great month (or what little is left of it)