Dear Friends of German Humour,
2024 is around the corner and we know what this means. Presumably at least one UK general election and more importantly: Germany hosting Euro 2024!
Watching Nationalmannschaft has never been more exciting. These days we can lose to absolutely anyone. Being the underdog at home to Scotland in the tournament’s opening game certainly is a totally new sensation.
Despite coming up against one of the worst German sides in living memory I feel sorry for the Tartan Army.
Having failed to qualify for Euro 1988 and World Cup 2006 the Jocks didn’t experience tourist-destination Germany at its glorious best, the time before our infrastructure packed in.
Next summer you’ll be hard pressed to spot much of a difference between the Scotrail train from Cumbernauld to Robroyston and the ICE from Munich to Cologne. They’ll both be heavily delayed or cancelled and you’re quicker walking. The main difference will be the quality of food and drink available on the platforms.
It’s got so bad the Swiss Federal Office of Transport has proposed stopping Deutsche Bahn trains from entering Switzerland because persistent delays often end up disrupting the carefully coordinated Swiss railway timetable. Jings, Crivvens, Help ma boab! What an embarrassment!
Whisper it but it’s almost time to retire the whole “people in Germany don’t swear because things work” shtick as these days it’s more wishful thinking than reality. Then again, never let the truth stand in the way of a good story.
Talking of good stories: I have had the first few previews of my new show Acid Wehn, an unbiased look at climate change. It’s a topic sure to delight British audiences. After all, everyone in Britain loves talking about the weather.* Rain or shine, all will be fine. Or maybe it won’t. Who knows?!
Have a great Christmas and a good start to 2024
* Luckily some stereotypes still hold true.
Please find below a list of upcoming gigs. More are being added all the time. It would be great to see you at one of those. The one I’m looking forward to most is January 10th at the Betsey. At 2.30pm on a random Wednesday. No idea if there’ll be any takers. If there’s only a handful of us, we just grab a table and have lunch. Win-win.