This Bulletin is from March 5th, 2013

March 2013

Dear Friends of German Comedy,

We might not be Pope any longer but unlike German holiness, German humour is going from strength to strength.

Metro ‘newspaper’ reviewed Comedy Central’s Alternative Comedy Experience and referred to me as ‘token German”. Brilliant news!

The way I understand it, ‘token’ refers to something that isn’t there on merit but because of a feeling in society that a particular group should be represented, even in the absence of a qualified candidate.

What an improvement on a few years ago, when it would have been quite feasible to programme a stand-up show for British TV without feeling obliged to book someone German.

Speaking of Germans in the UK, the Queen (yes, this joke is more tired than its protagonist) got a vomiting bug off an Olympian at a meet and greet. Now we know the Olympic legacy: a closed down sports stadium in Sheffield and an incontinent head of state.

She even had to go to hospital. For only the fifth time in her long life, which is probably as much as the medical service can cope with seeing that every time the Queen phones up a hospital a nurse kills herself.

Fortunately for the NHS, Justin Bieber has left the country never to return.

It wasn’t even him needing medical attention that was the problem. It was the lasting harm he caused a generation of British children by being anything up to 30 minutes late for one of his concerts.

According to the Evening Standard one father said: ‘I don’t think a refund would compensate the emotional damage he has done to my children.


To be fair, you’re asking for trouble if you let your happiness being controlled by the timekeeping of a 19-year-old geezerbird.

So, that’s me done for the day. I shall be listening out for updates from the Vatican conclave hoping that Christoph Schönborn wins Pope before Schalke overcomes Galatasary this evening, making it a German one-two.

Do I believe this will happen? Well, is the Pope Catholic and does the Queen shit in the woods?

Have a great month


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