This Bulletin is from February 3rd, 2010

February 2010

Dear Friends of German Comedy,

What a great draw for Euro 2012! Germany is in the same qualifying group as Belgium, Turkey and Austria and there are cheap flights from London to all those countries.

Flights from the UK are generally cheaper than from Germany. I sometimes wonder if that’s the result of airlines’ pricing structure or something more sinister – such as the British government incentivising foreigners to leave the country?

Because let’s not forget – Britain prides itself on being a tolerant country. And tolerance doesn’t bode well for making people feel at home. The Oxford English Dictionary defines ‘tolerance’ as the ability to ‘allow something that one dislikes or disagrees with to exist or occur without interference’. It’s the quality to be annoyed but too weak-willed to do anything about it, in other words Britain prides itself on being lazy and cynical!

Luckily my time in Britain hasn’t changed me and I am still every bit the idealist….

But even Britain doesn’t come close to the cynicism of the African Football Association, who banned Togo from the next two African Cups.

The Togo’s team’s crime was to be ambushed by rebels and then opting for live-saving medical treatment and attending funerals rather than staying on in Angola to play in last month’s Africa Cup.

Mind you, this absurd stance of punishing the victims is a great chance for Irish football and non-qualification for World Cup 2010 might prove a blessing in disguise for the Paddies.

Now all the IRA has to do, is to carry on their noble fight for the Irish cause and create havoc in South Africa. That way all proper footballing nations will get banned, and voila, Ireland, to win World Cup 2014.

The lack of phone lines in South Africa means the IRA will struggle with their customary warning calls but the whole operation is under a good star as June is the height of South Africa’s winter which greatly reduces the risk of those freckled gingers catching sunstroke.

Have a great month!


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