December 2020

Dear Friends of German Comedy,

Sorry for not being in touch for a while. Since the last bulletin in May I said to myself I’d send one out as soon as either Schalke win a league game or Brexit is sorted, whichever is the sooner. But I now have to accept we can’t wait that long.

The mask situation presents a perfect opportunity for some evil foreign power to send out-of-work lookalikes to infiltrate Brussels, either as Ursula (von der Leyen) or as Boris (Fondle-Lay’Em) and actually agree on something.

“Boris” will accept that Brits have to drive on the right, while “Ursula” will agree for the EU waiving the 40bn Britain cancellation fee. Expect a massive fallout, and a manhunt for Alistair McGowan.

I take it we’ve all gained a stone or two since the reopening of some of the pubs. [NB: this observation is not applicable to readers in Scotland, Wales and some parts of England. No idea what the score is in Northern Ireland, I’m afraid] It’s not so much the drinking, it’s the compulsory eating that make pub crawls such hard work these days. Here’s a tip: keep hold of your used fork, napkin and plate and take them around town with you for the rest of the evening.

It’s been odd not to do live gigs since March (with the exception of two try-out nights at London’s Betsey Trotwood in the brief period when the government didn’t view them as a death trap). But believe it or not, there are heaps of gigs lined up for Autumn 2021 and I am 95% sure they’re going to happen, although my optimism hasn’t been exhaustively tested by the MHRA. But please, roll up roll up (your sleeves) anyway!

If they don’t happen, be sure to invest in the new pokey town-centre flats that our bankrupt former theatres will probably get turned into.

Have a great Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Henning